Best Birthday Cake When You Don't Cook

by SG
(Bellaire TX)

The "kid" in this case was 19 and the mistake was making an easy but yummy cake when you just don't cook. I can cook, but just don't like to do it and am usually too busy to bother. But this friend had done something really nice for my family and I wanted to make a great cake since his family was far away from his college here.

My sister had a recipe that required no cooking at all but still tasted pretty great and that sounded easy. So I got the angel food cake and the hot fudge sauce and the Heath toffee bars to make it. You were supposed to use whipped cream but I knew there was a big old tub of Cool Whip in the freezer and thought that would do just fine.

This cake was created by the mother of my sister's friend once when the stove was broken and couldn't be repaired by his birthday. A store bought cake didn't seem right, so his mom bought an angel food cake, one of his favorites, split it into three layers and then added some of his other best foods, hot fudge sauce and Heath bars.

The day before the birthday I got home from my classes, ready to make the cake. I got out the big old Cool Whip tub to thaw, and it was suspiciously light. I opened it and it had maybe half a cup of topping left-my roommate strikes again! Cursing moderately, I put my shoes on and drove to the store to get the dad blamed (or words to that effect) Cool Whip. Saw some other stuff that looked good, having made the "don't shop hungry" rule and spent $34. Drove home through heavy traffic that I had missed on the first trip home.

There I found my roommate and a couple of friends polishing off the Heath bars and trying to find ice cream to use the fudge sauce on. Made some semi-serious death threats regarding the angel food cake and the fudge sauce, went back to the store. Replaced the Heath bars and bought extras to stave off the grazers at home, saw more stuff that looked good since I was even hungrier and spent another $17.

Went home, sliced the cake into three more or less even layers and only cut my thumb twice. Discovered we were out of band-aids except for one. Managed to stretch the last band-aid to cover some paper towel over one of the cuts. Refused to go back to the store for more.

Next, I slather some fudge sauce, crushed candy bars and a layer of whipped cream on each of the bottom two layers. Well, I did after an hour of waiting for the Cool Whip to thaw. Helpful roommate had noticed I had "accidentally" left out and had returned it to the freezer.

Then the last layer went on and got whipped topping, crushed candy bars and the last of the fudge sauce dribbled artistically all over it. Using the now serious threat of disembowelment, got roommate and candy-gorged friends to clean out the 'fridge so the cake would fit. Placed large threateningly labeled note on the cake carrier warning against even thinking about eating it.

Total elapsed time to make this "easy no bake cake" was, from arriving home at PM and finishing about AM. a mere nine hours and an extra $47 spent on groceries other than a few candy bars and a tub of Cool Whip. On the plus side, my friend absolutely loved the cake and through self-restraint I avoided the extra expense of hiring a hit man to get my roommate. The same roommate who asked me to make that cake for her birthday the next month!

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