An Alternative Use For Fruitcakes
by Diane K.
(Lubbock, Texas USA)
Everyone seems to have a story about the "fruitcake that would not die!" You know the drill -- you receive a fruitcake from a casual acquaintance (it has to be a casual acquaintance -- a REAL friend would never stoop to giving a fruitcake as a gift!) You hate fruitcakes, but can't bear the thought of just throwing the thing away. So you wait patiently until the following year for the chance to foist the unwanted gift off on some other unsuspecting "casual acquaintance."
Well, my sister tells a story of just such a fruitcake that made the rounds for several years in her Sunday school group. At least she claims that it was the same fruitcake, who knows? As luck would have it, her turn came around one year, and she received the well-travelled fruitcake.
My sister is a high school art teacher. She took the fruitcake to school and coated it with a layer of shellac. The next day, another coat, and the next day, another. This process continued for several days. I hear some people do a similar process with bourbon; my sister used shellac! After the fruitcake was suitably hardened and preserved for posterity, she used it as a holiday centerpiece. When the Sunday school class met at my sister's house that Christmas, the partygoers were heard to comment, "Isn't that the fruitcake I gave you last year?"
Now, dear readers, go and "reincarnate" a poor, lowly fruitcake this year!