Amazing Archeological Discovery

by Jan A.
(Ottawa, Canada)

My friends and I discussed the remarkable longevity of most fruitcakes given at Christmas. We decided it was entirely conceivable that, two millennia from now, future archaeologists would make an amazing culinary discovery somewhere near Kingston, Canada. Preserved in its original state, with not a touch of decay, would be a circa 2007 Christmas fruitcase, reeking of rum and dripping with candied cherries, pineapples, raisins and walnuts.

The archaeologists would be impressed at our civilization's advanced use of preservatives and despair over the sheer awfulness of the food we ingested. They would conclude that any civilization vulgar enough to create such an abomination deserved to disappear, mummified in the cheesecloth-and-aluminum-foil wrapping of a typical fruitcake.