A Fruit Cake Nightmare

by Jason

Let me first start off my story with the fact that I hate fruit cakes. I hate receiving fruit cakes, eating fruit cakes and even being around fruit cakes.

With that in mind, listen to this. Three winters ago, I was visiting my wife's cousin in upper New York. We had driven nearly 8 hours for the family event so already I wasn't exactly in the best mood. Of course we were meeting for Christmas so the house was full of decorations and presents. I immediately noticed, upon walking in, that there was a fruit cake sitting on the table. At the time, I disliked fruit cakes but didn't hate them.

After we ate, and I was offered fruit cake several times, we began to open presents. My first present was from my wife's cousin and, to my surprise, was a fruit cake. I thanked her but didn't care too much for the gift. The next gift was from my wife's grandmother and again it was another fruit cake. I continued to open presents and was shocked to find that every gift I got was a fruit cake, all of which varied in flavor.

By the end of the night I was so angered by the gift that I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Finally it was time for my wife to give me her present and I was relieved because I knew it would be something meaningful. I opened the nicely wrapped present only to find a fruit cake. I immediately threw the fruit cake at the wall along with all the other fruit cakes I had gotten that night. After I screamed and stormed out the door, I packed my bags and wanted to head home. One week later I filed for divorce.

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